I only speak from experience. So after having this convo with Killa Kellz, I thought I should share this knowledge with the world!
01. Say that you two have known each other for awhile, so you pick her in your vehicle. While driving down the strip if she says, "OOOOOH! Wendy's!" that girl isn't for you. Her loud outburst will cause you to wreck your car and worse than that, scrape your 28's ...all over a yearning for a 5 piece nugget box.
02. When you're sitting down and eating. If she only wants a salad. That's not normal. I don't care how big the salad is or how small the woman is. That's not normal. Rabbits do that. If you date a rabbit, your priorities aren't in order.
03. A woman who can really eat, that's a good thing. A woman who eats more than you do, no so good.
04. If she orders a meal just as large as yours and can't finish it, that's okay. As long as she eats 70%. Take note. If she eats less than 50% and wants to take the rest home, she got kids.
05. If she eats all of her food and then wants desert. That's okay. Even if you don't want any. However, if she orders a desert and it comes with two spoons, and she still eats it all. Well damn. That's not a keeper!
06. Women like to pick off of your plate. It's what they do. Always talkin' about "can I taste that?" However if she wants to taste your meal but you can't taste hers, she's a greedy heifer and she gots to go.
07. When you goto the movies, you're going to spend a good $20 - $30 on snacks. If she's a good woman, she'll bring her big bag and already have quarter waters in there and candy. But y'know, you might have to make it happen at the snack counter. But when you get that huge bucket of popcorn, and she DESTROYS it herself...VIOLATION. Put her ass in the penalty box.
08. When you go over to her house, check the cupboards. Check the shelves. Check the fridge. If she has all types of cookies and snacks, she got kids. If she has hennessy, she got a man. Mac 'n Cheese? Chef Boyardee? Kids! If she has wine coolers, she's a lush when she gets some hard liquor in her. If she stacks liquor bottles for any reason, she's an alchy, and you need to get her some help. If she has different types of spices and some recipes, cookbooks, etc. then she, of course, likes to cook...or atleast FAKES it. When you go in that fridge and she has kool-aid, that's okay. Kool-aid Kool Bursts? Kids. Lunchables are okay. Pizza lunchables? Kids! If she has lots of ranch dressing, she's a big girl or a BGIT, big girl in training. And that's okay! WE LOVE BIG GIRLS! If she has lots of flour, she can cook. If she has flour and no cooking oil, she can't cook. If she's a vegetarian, fail. If she eats nothing but meat, double fail.
09. If she remembers ANY drinking games from college: fun girl, but not ever a win for the long term!
10. When you grab some fast food. No.. WHENEVER you order your food, whether it's from your car, your phone or your seat in the restaurant, mind her mannerisms.
You know I'm just kidding. No I'm not.
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