i have a really good friendship with a guy ive know for about 10 years. we both can admit that we have a strong emotion attachment. but he just wont go there- relationship wise. which cause us to have some friction because he is constantly sending mixed messages. i understand his hesitancy to get into a relaionship due to a bad break and ongoing custody battle with his sons' mother. but im trying to figure out, is he truly interested in me or is he just looking to be friends?
I can already tell what's the problem. You two aren't communicating clearly with each other about your individual goals/motives/plans for one another. First you start off saying that you have a good friendship, then you say strong emotion, then you say mixed messages and finally you end with a question about his level of interest in you. There's way too much in the air.
Ladies, a man will always tell you what you want to know if you just ask him directly (even if its a lie, you'll still have your answer) . To resolve this issue, follow these steps:
1) Be real with yourself. What do YOU want? a Friendship or a Romantic Relationship? It can't be both. Analyze your feelings about this man. And are you willing to be with him in a romantic setting AS WELL as the issues that may surround him, his son, and the mother of their child?
2) Ask him. See what his feelings are about you and about a new relationship period with any woman. The fact that he's hesitant to be clear with you about his current feelings (and perhaps the aftermath of his broken relationship with his child's mother) may be a clue that he doesn't want a relationship at all. But confirm with communication about his intentions with you and his plans for the future.
3) Pull the trigger. If what he says don't match up with what you want, don't force it. Atleast you know where he stands and where your relationship stands and everybody is clear as day about what they want from each other.
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