22 Rules for Attending Black Folks' Cookouts

It's hot. But the heatwaves will not stop black folks from enjoying a cookout. Comically depicted in every "for the family" movie (and some songs) starring middle aged people teaching the youngins how to do the Electric Slide to ANY song, the true feature is the food. But just like any other major event, conference, military court martial, State dinner, wedding reception, Cinderella ball there's a stack of proper etiquette and decorum that should be followed so that you don't embarrass yourself.

1. BP gotta be properly lotioned on areas of exposed skin, including elbows, knees, feet and hands.
2. Let the grill man operate in peace. No custom meal requests.
3. Offer to bring something. If they insist you don't...bring something anyway. Whether it's fam or people you don't really know, be inclusive.
4. However if you don't contribute to the vittles, you may not partake in the consuming of the vittles. A bag of ice doesn't count.
5. And please, don't let the white folks cook the potato salad.
6. Vegetarian? Your sexual orientation is nobody's business.
7. Please keep all of your relatives and invited friends in check.
8. If you're a drinker, at least bring a six pack or bottle of liquor.
9. But if you can't handle your liquor, please don't drink. That includes your aunt, because she will tell all of the family business.
10. Park on the street not in the driveway.
11. Work the 'yard', engaging as many people as you can.
12. My bathroom is broke. The entire bathroom. So no need to ask to use it.
13. It'd be nice, if you offered to help clean up.
14. Sorry, this cookout isn't an all you can eat buffet. Please let everybody get some.
15. If you're going for your first plate of food, do not approach with tupperware, saran wrap or any other preservation tools.
16. No you cannot take a plate home for _____________. They should've came.
17. Most folks want people to take leftovers but don't be tacky. Load up on stuff that won't last, leave non-perishables alone. Like the liquor.
18. I'm also the ONLY DJ.
19. If you don't know the dance, it's still okay to participate.
20. If it is a family affair, do NOT simulate sex on the dancefloor. Even if it's "your song".
21. Do no hit on anybody's baby's mother.
22. There will be no fighting. Well there might be some fighting but we don't condone it.

This list was compiled with the help of @khal, @mallz, @rashidapowell and @westwisha. Thanks. Did we miss any? Leave your rules in the comments below.