The Melz Experience: The Principles Of How To Be A Better Wingman

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The Melz Experience: The Principles Of How To Be A Better Wingman

Enough with the mushy stuff, it's time to address those of you who choose not to go the family route and are strictly in it to get your stats up. I haven't been married all my life, there was actually a time when I was single and not looking to get married. During that time I had the pleasure of working along side some gentlemen who understood that dating in groups require sacrifice, smarts, and cunning maneuvering in order to reach a common goal. It's a lost art that I see being replaced with an every man for himself mentality. I'm speaking of course of "The Wingman". * cue "Highway To The Dangerzone" *

In today's social media-infused world (and as I've stated in an earlier post), men have become lazy when it comes to actually GOING OUT to find a companion if only for one night. I'm quite sure that the same rule applies to guys when they decide to go out in groups. I see more dudes in the club with their faces in phones chatting and liking pics for females hundreds of miles away and blatantly ignoring the ACTUAL, REAL LIFE, females walking by them. This is a sad case and may also explain why so many of you are jaded and upset with being single. For starters have you taken a look at the company you keep, If you and your buddies are single and if you are tired of going out with them and buying rounds of drinks and still returning home with rosy palms, I may be able to help you and your partners become more successful at achieving your goals without ditching them.

1. It's no longer about YOU

We've all had those pre-game strategy meetings before going out. The problem with today's male is this selfish all about me mentality. Gentlemen, dating in groups can work to your advantage if you are willing to give up YOUR goals and sacrifice on behalf of THE TEAM. Look at it like being a part of an NBA championship team. Everybody has their role and those roles shift according to the type of plays being ran and what the defense is showing to you.

Example: You and your crew run into a pack of females, of course in these groups there's usually ONE desirable and the rest not so much. She doesn't choose you but she chooses a member of your crew to hold conversation with. Unless you are in a perfect world, expect that the "undesirables" will do what they can to stop her from leaving with him. Instead of saying "I'm going to find one like her" think about this: "What can I do to HELP seal the deal for the homey?"

2. "Helping" comes in many forms but DON'T OVER-DO IT!

Once you've embraced unselfishness, the real work begins. Helping (or The Assist) will be a task that will require you to run interference, speaking highly of your teammates (even if he is a scumbag), possibly lowering your standards and absorbing some possible punishment. Providing "the assist" can also be quite rewarding, if executed properly. It is crucial that you accept this challenge because the entire night could hinge on your skills at this point. While the main scorer proceeds to run the play, you (and all included parties) have to run interference and engage the opposition (aka the girlfriends) in conversation. They may not be having it with you but don't get discouraged. Offer drinks or food for everyone and do your best to distract. Do not be disrespectful, even if you are being disrespected. Always remain calm because you have nothing to lose nor gain at this point. But always keep an active gauge on the mood and attitudes of all parties involved. If you can run this effectively, you could end the night winning as well. Remember you are SINGLE, the goal is to "score" correct?

3. Reciprocity (Pay back) must be done!

You do not have to be a lifelong wingman. If your team is truly as good as you claim it to be, then everyone on it must understand that they have to take turns "taking one for the team". It doesn't have to have a rotating starting lineup mentality, but depending on the night and situation, things will make themselves clear. You might be the leading scorer one night and everyone else will play their roles appropriately (hopefully). You must by all means repay those who have taken a grenade for you. Even in my married status, I still keep in contact with those who have taken an L for me because, well, you hang on to friends like that FOREVER.

While keeping this short and sweet, these are just simple and basic guidelines that you could follow that could lead to very fun and memorable days and nights until you decide or think that settling down is right for you. The gentlemen I've had the pleasure of not only "providing assists" and becoming the  "main scorer", can tell you personally that many, many years later we still speak of those glory days. And the one reason we all understand why we can look upon those days fondly is due to unselfishness. Which when you think about it is not a bad virtue to teach our kids, when working with others on something that could be greater than YOU, put self to the side and find out how WE TOGETHER can reach our goals.

See what I did there?...Peace. Leave some comments below!


  1. Jonathan GilchristJune 9, 2013 at 1:04 PM

    Yep this is great! Simply put.

  2. But what if you're the Dr. J of the team? I mean, as selfless as dude was, he had no wingmen for the longest time.