Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Top 10 Things To Do When Your Lady Starts Nagging You

Top 10 Things To Do When Your Lady Starts Nagging You
Fellas. You just got home, woke up, washed the car. Whatever the case may be. Your lady start an argument with you and at this moment you don’t know what to do. That’s why I’m here. I want to give you 10 things to do while she is arguing with you. I’m pretty sure these will work every time, sometimes. Trust me. These are in no particular order.

The Melz Experience: Who Got Da Props? (Hint: Not you)

The Melz Experience: Who Got Da Props? (Hint: Not you)
Recently, I spoke to my father as he prepared to take a two-week cruise of Europe. Like always we talked about what was going on in our lives and we happened upon the topic of appreciation. I shared with my dad that I have taken on a very hectic daily schedule due to my wife attending classes in pursuit of her associates degree. More below...

Top 5 Things Your Significant Other Can Do To Make You Happy

Top 5 Things Your Significant Other Can Do to Make You Happy
Let me preface this post by saying that gentlemen, you need to make sure you are HAPPY and confident in YOURSELF before seeking further happiness in another person. Don't you EVER expect another human being to be the source of your happiness or you are setting yourself up for a tremendous failure and ensuing heartbreak. Now I could go to the classic Dave Chappelle line on how to make a man happy but I was asked to expound a little further. For the ladies or men that are reading this, the following things you could do to make your partner happy are strictly the opinion of this observer. So I'll keep it short and sweet.

efinit On Fatherhood...


Who was the first man in your life that you looked up to? Who was the man who taught you the breaks and the facts of life? Who was the man you aspired to emulate? For most, that man is/was their father. For the rest of us, that answer varies. In fact, there might be a different or multiple answers to each of those questions. Believe it or not, I never really reflected on these questions until now.

Melz Father's Day...

Melz Father's Day...

Gentlemen, let me begin this by saying, no one has the blueprint or the correct way to raise a child. Throughout history we've seen serial killers that came from great parents and we've seen some of the best and brightest people in the world come from poor beginnings and even poorer parents.

The Melz Experience: The Principles Of How To Be A Better Wingman

The Melz Experience: The Principles Of How To Be A Better Wingman

Enough with the mushy stuff, it's time to address those of you who choose not to go the family route and are strictly in it to get your stats up. I haven't been married all my life, there was actually a time when I was single and not looking to get married. During that time I had the pleasure of working along side some gentlemen who understood that dating in groups require sacrifice, smarts, and cunning maneuvering in order to reach a common goal. It's a lost art that I see being replaced with an every man for himself mentality. I'm speaking of course of "The Wingman". * cue "Highway To The Dangerzone" *

The Melz Experience: Teaching Evolution To Future Generations

The talk of the world recently has been Washington Wizards center Jason Collins 'coming out' to the world in a Sports Illustrated piece and the revelation that he's the first gay athlete in the 'Big 4' sports (MLB, NHL, NFL, NBA). The usual public discourse began as most Americans applauded Collins' announcement and the usual "insensitive" (perceived or otherwise) comments flowed from the computers and mobile devices of everyone from NFL players to commentators about their "beliefs". No matter where you stand on the homosexuality debate, I believe that it is time to have an open discussion -- at least, for the sake of our children.


3 Ways Young Men Must Get Real About Dating In The Digital Age

3 Ways Young Men Must Get Real About Dating In The Digital Age
If you are single and reading this, I want you to know that there is still hope for you. All is not lost. I have not been on the dating scene for several years now. Most of my "single moments" are through living vicariously through the very few single friends I have remaining. And from all indications and reports from these friends, it sounds and looks like, at least to this observer, that its hard as hell for you single folks. Let's discuss...

Runner On First

When I left you last, I stepped away from fatherhood for a minute to give my take on a day of no real significance to me. This past Saturday was indeed a day to remember. It was a breakthrough moment in my journey through fatherhood and a day of excitement and validation for my main man, Eli.
A couple of months ago, Eli's basketball season was coming to an end, and I sensed a sadness from my beloved little prince.

Eli, unlike me as a child, is a social butterfly. I count my blessings all the time that he fears no interpersonal interaction. He will be able to see the world and understand the people around him with a greater sense of awareness than I had when I eventually realized it later in my adolescence.

He was going to miss the childish camaraderie with his little hoop squad. He began to distance himself from his friends at the end-of-season awards celebration keeping to himself most of the time there. I felt bad for him watching him out on the play field rolling solo. A couple of thoughts ran through my mind as I wondered if he was just trying to enjoy a moment of solitude and independence, or if he was worried about something. I joined him out there, played some two-man soccer with him (I'm probably the only Latino in the world who hates soccer, by the way), and just tried to keep him company. Toward the end of the ceremony, the coaching staff tried to urge Eli to sign up for baseball. These guys really admire Eli's natural athleticism and quick learning ability. I'm not a big baseball guy; never have been. I played catch and street ball back in the day, but nothing formal. That said, I wouldn't hold my son back from trying something new. I want him to experience anything he can as long as I'm able to provide it for him. The coaches worked their recruiting magic. Eli was convinced he wanted to give it a try.

The old basketball squad met a couple of days later at the local batting cages for a little batting practice. Eli borrowed a buddy's equipment never having been properly instructed on how to swing a baseball bat. He got the stance down easy. The swing came a little slower to him. Frustration began to set in followed by a snide attitude. I pulled him aside to pull out of him what was bothering him. The kid was crying talking about how he didn't like baseball because he's no good at it. I had a long talk with him about what it means to put in effort and understand the importance of patience and determination in order to improve. I gave him the anecdotal treatment about my first jumpshot being a baseball toss at the rim, and how a neighborhood high school basketball coach stopped his daily jog to work on my mechanics and form until I got it down. I also threw a little harsh reality his way reminding him that he needs to be thankful he has his father to help him along the way unlike a lot of other kids out there. Kids need reminding about appreciation every now and then. Unfortunately, I didn't feel that I truly got through to him that night.

Fast forward a month later to this past Friday, and here we are again at batting practice after having a few weeks of baseball practice under his belt. He wasn't making contact with the ball and in crept that chip on his shoulder he got from me. I pulled him aside more calmly this time and tried to rationalize with him about his remarks of "being the worst player on the team." The old me would have grabbed and swallowed him up in a huge hug and told him it would be alright. I have to remind myself sometimes that he's not the cute little innocent angel he used to be as a baby and toddler. He's now a handsome little devil. Again, I talked to him trying to inject every bit of optimism I could into his thought process. Long story short, I told him he is what he thinks he is, and as long as he thinks good thoughts good things will happen. He kept his attitude on cruise control cruising for that bruising. I just hit 'em with the sternness of a coach for the rest of the night while reassuring him I loved him in my own subtle ways.

The next afternoon, I met him at his first baseball game. I knew the kid had to be nervous, so I sat right by the on-deck circle along the third base line to coach him through his first at-bat. I told him to relax, keep his eye on the ball and swing hard. He stepped in the batter's box with a runner on first. His first swing was powerful, but strike one. He let a couple of pitches go by, then swung for the fences again. He got his bat on top of the ball hitting a high bouncing grounder to the third base side. He sprinted to first base and stopped for a split second until he realized the fielders were more interested in getting the other runner out who was headed to third. Eli rounded second base seeing the defense had thrown the ball away near the third base dugout. He still had some time to head home, so I ran along the fence with him cheering him on so everyone could hear. Now, for those of you who know baseball, the fielding errors technically negate the home run statistic, but who am I to burst my son's bubble? I walked intently to the dugout with the biggest grin on my face, called him over to me and squatted down while giving him dap. I grabbed his smiling face with both hands to gain eye contact because the kid was in disbelief. I proudly let him in on the fact that he hit a home run in his first at-bat and good things really do happen if he thinks good things like I told him the night before.

He needed that confidence booster just as much as I needed that validation of the lessons I tried to instill in him throughout the preseason. Sharing this monumental moment with my son brought us closer. In the midst of the post-game parent/player huddle Eli turned to me, hugged me tight where I stood and said, "Thank you, Dad."

It's not everyday a kid can say he hit a home run on his first official at-bat. This cherished moment will never escape my memory as long as I can help it. Watching those dots connect and the drive I passed down to Eli manifest itself on that baseball diamond was a moment for the ages for this dad. Molding a child's mind is no easy feat. I've always hoped Eli would appreciate what I've done for him as his father thinking all along it would come a few years down the road, but it came sooner than expected with a runner on first and my little go-ahead run at the plate.

How would you describe the feeling you got during those moments of firsts with your child or father?

Smut & Marriage: When To Give It Up? ...The Smut, That Is

Smut & Marriage: When To Give It Up? ...The Smut, That Is
We're doing a lot of grown man talk around here lately. And we'll have fun stuff as well as items that we feel men should be aware of today. Some will come from what's happening in the news, some will come from wisdom past down from the OG's and a lot will be our direct experiences. Enter: The Melz Experience.

Valentine's Day Faux Pas

Valentine's Faux Pas
Fellas, asking a woman to be your Valentine doesn't mean she's your girlfriend. Who actually asks a lady to be their Valentine anymore? You might as well get your #2 pencil and notebook paper out and pass the girl a note with Yes/No check boxes. Just remember, this is 2013. The idea of courtship went away about 10 years ago. Keep up, guys. You need to stay in your lane and know what NOT to do on that day so as to prevent disaster.

A Broken Father

A Broken Father
Broken households are about as common as a new rapper, these days. For me, I tend to assume someone either grew up in one or was a part of one. Society shifts along with each generation, and it's certainly made its descent from the times of the traditional family.

A Defining Moment of Fatherhood

A Defining Moment of Fatherhood
During a period of reflection, I struggled pinpointing a light bulb moment that had any real significance in my life. Frankly, if I truly had one of those defining moments, I'd be off experiencing a lot more of what life has to offer than just the monotony of everyday survival. I've spent my entire life analyzing a lot of who, what, where, when, and why's without truly figuring out the purpose behind those experiences. The one idea that now shines brightest is fatherhood.

The Daddy Toolkit: Diaper Duty

The Daddy Toolkit: Diaper Duty
Attention all first-time dads. Ever wonder how to change your infant's diaper without gagging or creating a bigger mess than what your baby already ejected from his little body? Ever been in an itchy predicament with no idea how to soothe your baby's problem? Look no further.

The diaper changing adventure involves some simple steps, precautions, plenty of patience and fortitude. You also need to gather a few trusty supplies for you and your baby before you tackle this daunting task. Grab a fresh diaper, baby wipes, diaper rash ointment, and baby powder. If you have a boy, a cover cloth provides protection from those accidental squirts.

Make sure to have a change of clothes on standby for those explosive surprises that not even the premium diapers can absorb. Protect yourself and your senses with the proper Daddy Toolkit, as well. The kit should include (at minimum):

  • a pair of safety goggles (the kind you used in wood shop)
  • nose plugs
  • a military grade gas mask, but a hospital mask will do
  • latex gloves
  • tongs

Be careful not to grab your barbecue tongs. That would make for an interesting flavor at your next cookout.

Once you notice a larger than usual bulge in your child's diaper, or you see his face straining followed by an odor so foul you wonder if you accidentally let a fart slip, it's GO TIME. First, prepare all the aforementioned baby products so they're easily accessible near the diaper changing surface. Second, outfit yourself with the Daddy tools.

Carefully lay your baby on the desired changing surface. It needs to be flat and comfortable for him with a towel or changing table pad underneath him to prevent additional mess. Be sure to keep him safely distanced from the edges of the changing surface so he can't squirm or roll off. The floor is the safest area. It is imperative that you remain at the changing area throughout the process to ensure his safety. Next, remove his clothes so as not to hinder the diaper change.

Open the clean diaper and put it to the side for later. While standing at his feet, unfasten the diaper straps with his legs down. Then, open the front flap of the diaper toward you. This undoubtedly reveals a stench like no other, but your nose plugs and gas/hospital mask kick it into overdrive to prevent your gag reflex from taking over. Gently grab both of his ankles with one hand, preferably your off hand, and lift his legs and bottom up so that the small of his back remains on the table/floor.

Next, pull the dirty diaper from under your baby and place it off to the side, out of his reach. Place a cover cloth or towel over your son's crown jewels so he doesn't spray you, unless you trust your goggles to do the trick. While still holding his legs up, take a baby wipe and wipe him from front to back versus back to front in order to lessen the chance of infection. Clean the larger bits of stool, first. As you venture up the diaper changing ranks, you'll learn to wipe those large shit chunks while removing the dirty diaper in one fell swoop. Be sure to clean all skin folds and crevices, as well. The cleaning step will surely take more than one baby wipe unless you want your kid to have an itchy ass. Place the dirty wipes on top of the soiled diaper.

Once you've completely cleaned his dirty bits, grab the clean diaper and slide the back flap under your baby's backside. Gently lay his bottom on top of the back flap of the diaper and lower his legs. If you notice a diaper rash, apply diaper rash ointment before you lower his legs. Wetness often causes diaper rash, so baby powder may be necessary. If you apply baby powder, be sure to do so as to prevent inhalation. Fold the front flap of the diaper over your baby. Then, adhere the straps to the outside of the front flap around his waistline. You don't like your underwear too constricting, so give him the same respect. Babies with tight diapers cry more. If you don't believe me, test my theory. I dare you.

Clothe him with fresh threads, if the diaper didn't do its job to prevent a blowout. Next, hand him over to Mommy or put him in a safe place such as a crib or playpen. Don't remove your gear quite yet because your date with defecation isn't over. Close the dirty diaper and all its smelly goodness. Use your tongs to grab the lumpy mess holding it out in front of you at arm's length. Then, drop it in a garbage can outside, unless you want to keep your nose plugs on around the house.

Diaper changes come furious and frequent, so keep your tools handy. If your first time didn't go so smoothly, don't get discouraged. It takes practice, and maternal supervision may be required. If you have tips or special techniques, share in the comments.
NBC Latino
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Best Friend

Best Friend
Friendship is a bond too easily broken these days with trust seemingly nonexistent. If it does exist, it's typically misguided. Male comrades often frown upon the idea of a shared love for each other for homophobic reasons. This insecurity leads to counterfeit camaraderie. This lack of companionship reduces your friend to a simple acquaintance.

Road Less Traveled

Road Less Traveled
Being a father is the single most honorable experience I've faced. To stare at the innocence in your child’s eyes knowing you hold the key to their existence now and beyond is to truly live. That’s just my opinion.

Fellas Tell Us: The Law In The West

west wood and son
West Wood aka Dustin Dixon shares his story about being a single father dealing with today's custody system and child's mother. It's his account in his own words. West's tale is not particularly new. It's just a story that's not told a lot...or enough.  MANDOM is giving a voice to men.

Defending The Ex & Acknowledging The Next

After Stevie J and Lil Scrappy thug out their differences in the skreets of Atlanta, it sparks a great question from Big Dho. Is it a man's duty to defend his the mother of his child when the mother is his ex?

Fellas Tell Us: Quincy's Lament

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I wanted to give men a forum where they can be honest and always have their say. So MANDOM decided to open it up to all testimonies from men. The following is a letter from Quincy Allen aka CientifiQ. And he tells us a story that's all too familiar about the complexities of being a father when the father and the mother are not seeing eye-to-eye.

President & First Lady Obama Talk About Their 1st Date

POTUS FLOTUS First Date
While promoting DinnerWithBarack.com, First Lady Michelle Obama and the President share what their first date was like. The Pres' advice to would-be beaus is to impress your date by taking them to someplace cultural.

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